When You’re Not the Mom You Thought You’d Be

The morning started with one kid asking for Pringles for breakfast and the other saying he was too tired to go to school.

The dog was nose-pressing the back door.

The laundry from yesterday still owned the dining room table.

And I was standing in the kitchen, heating milk in the microwave for my chai—because that’s how I do it. No boiling water, no fancy frothing—just warm milk and concentrate. Simple.

And in that moment, I thought:

I really thought I’d be a different kind of mom by now.

I figured I’d be the type who woke up before everyone else, folded laundry before bedtime, packed creative lunches, and responded to school emails the day they arrived.

I didn’t think I’d be sipping chai at my desk while logging in early, hoping the kids found their own socks.

But here I am.

And honestly—I like my life.

Even if it’s messier than I imagined.

I thought I’d be more together in the little things. More organized. Less distracted. More patient (especially before 9am).But I’m also learning: being a good mom doesn’t always look like the Pinterest version in my head.

I’m not the mom I imagined I’d be.

I’m the mom who shows up tired but still shows up.

The one who says yes to weird breakfasts just to keep the peace.

The one who forgets picture day but always remembers hugs at bedtime.

The one who teaches grace not by perfection, but by apology, humor, and trying again.

“His mercies are new every morning.”—Lamentations 3:23

Even mornings like this one.

With Pringles. With tired kids. With undone laundry and microwaved chai.

So if you’re standing in your kitchen today, wondering if this counts—it does.

You’re showing up.

You’re loving them.

You’re doing it—even if it doesn’t look like you imagined.

And that? That’s exactly the kind of mom your kids need.

—The Rusted Sparrow